Reading by Ryan Warren

For Brian and Ann

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal think does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves-goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying What I do is for me: for that I came.

I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is-
Love-for Love plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father, through the features of men's faces.
   By Gerard Manley Hopkins

2. Have a dog.
14. Plant flowers every spring.
17. Live beneath your means.
24. Drink champagne for no reason at all.
30. Never buy a house without a fireplace.
48. Keep a tight rein on your temper.
   From "Life's Little Instruction Book", by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Love is not something you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.
   From "Deep Thoughts", by Jack Handey

Keep In Touch
Life is too complex. One of the simplest things you can do to nurture your partner is let her or him know what is going on with you on a day-to-day basis. Create a message center in your home where you not only record phone messages and leave mail, but where you also post your shared calendar. On this calendar, you may schedule things to do together but also make notes about important things going on in your life, and even not-so-important things. Get in the habit of leaving each other notes saying, "Remember my interview on Friday" or "Eric gets his report card Thursday."

Schedule daily check-in sessions. Include more than dry information. Name one feeling you had today or one bodily sensation or one personal revelation.
   From "The Couple's Comfort Book", by Jennifer Louden

50. Put the cap back on the toothpaste.
51. Take out the garbage without being told.
54. Surprise loved ones with little, unexpected gifts
60. Admit your mistakes
73. Never forget your anniversary.
80. Slow dance.

I left you in the morning,
And in the morning glow
You walked a way beside me
To make me sad to go.
Do you know me in the gloaming,
Gaunt and dusty gray with roaming?
Are you dumb because you know me not,
Or dumb because you know?

All for me? And not a question
For the faded flowers gay
That could take me from beside you
For the ages of a day?
They are yours, and be the measure
Of their worth for you to treasure,
The measure of the little while
That I've been long away.
   "Flower-Gathering", by Robert Frost

  Interesting thing: Ask most guys why they marry the woman they do, and they'll tell you, "She's the first one who called me on everything."
   All the things you tried to get away with in the past, all the games you designed and mastered for the express purpose of keeping people at arm's length were, it turns out, all just a weeding-out process, a search for the one person who doesn't fall for it-the one who can sidestep your tricks and see right through you. And, ironically, you're not upset. In fact, you're impressed. You think, "Wow, good for you." And the message goes forth, "Okay, no more calls, we have a winner."

   So you think, "Maybe this'll work." But remember, ultimately, they find out everything:
   How you chew, how you sip, how you hum, how you dance. How you smell at every point in the day, how you are on the phone with your mother, the fact that many of your friends are shallow, that you always have to sit on the aisle, how you never really listen, how whiny you get when you travel, how you're not gracious to her friends when they call, how certain game shows make you really really happy, how cranky you get because you're too stupid to remember to eat, how you manage to get confrontational only when it's with the absolute wrong person to be yelling at, how you don't like the way you look in any picture you've taken since 1984, how you're unable to get off the phone when you're running late because you don't have the ability to say, "This isn't a good time; can I call you back?" How you have to lick certain fruits before actually eating them, how you have no ability to save receipts-all these things, and they still want to sign on. They still like you.
   This feel good. For about a minute.
   But the next thought is, "Wait a second, why is she being so understanding? If this stuff doesn't faze her, her stuff must be even worse … Oh God-what don't I know?"
   And every day, bit by bit, you find out.
   From "Couplehood", by Paul Reiser

90. Refill ice cube trays
140. When starting out, don't worry about not having enough money. Limited funds are a blessing, not a curse. Nothing encourages creative thinking in quite the same way.
173. Be kinder than necessary.
177. Never take action when you're angry.

There is no substitute, of course, for experience, but experience benefits the knowledgeable far more than the not-so-knowledgeable. What is far more important is something that might sound reactionary, but which ten years of talking to sexually active men and women have shown to be vital in any sexual relationship. That is, one of the keystones in building up a relationship with today's woman is that old-fashioned thing called respect.
   From "How to Drive Your Woman Wild in Bed",
   by Graham Masterson

179. Be you wife's best friend.
220. Spend less time worrying who's right, and more time deciding what's right.
297. Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) Finding the right person, and (2) being the right person.

WILLIAM AND EMILY

There is something about Death
Like love itself!
If, with someone with whom you have known passion,
And the glow of youthful love,
You also, after years of life
Together, feel the sinking of the fire,
And thus fade away together,
Gradually, faintly, delicately,
As it were, in each other's arms,
Passing from the familiar room-
That is a power of unison between souls,
Like love itself!
   From "Spoon River Anthology", by Edgar Lee Masters

On March 25, 2000
All my love to Brian and Ann